Growing up... Moving on...

Part of growing up is moving on...

That's not an easy proposition, but it's how God has been leading me. I have been home for two weeks now... and yes, I still do sometimes stand in awe at the volume of water issuing from the faucets or the fact that I can flush the toilet or take a shower whenever I want to and not worry about whether such indulgences will drain the last drops from the tinaco (cistern).

I have thought a lot what to do with this site. I can see from the footprints that many people visit my page here and that blesses me in a very special way. So often, it is hard to gauge just how many people actually are interested in reading the day-by-day events of a 25-year-old female in Mexico having a rough time growing up. The realization that so many have been reading (and apparently still continue to check back at this site) gives me the warm fuzzies inside as I sense the love and genuine caring that expresses. Thank you! :)

Although I do not intend to update this site anymore, I have decided to start three separate blogs on three different popular blog host sites. It seems God has given me things to say and what better way can I make use of that gift than to continue to share, in my own down-to-earth, realistic way, some of the life-changing truths I have been raised with and have learned as an adult.

An additional benefit of running blogs, as you may already be aware, is to create a source of passive income. This is usually done by unobtrusive ads along the side or hyperlinked words which display other possible sites of interest based on the topic. Just by people clicking on those links, I can earn income!! My ultimate goal is to build up streams of passive income through the internet... something which can only help when I am joined by my other half. :)

The three blogs will contain the same material though they will have different reading audiences. I would be honored if you, my faithful reading audience of over three months, would follow me as I begin to share the truths, observations, and experiences I have had in my life through my blogs. As opposed to Xanga, anyone can usually comment on these other blogs and I intend to have a more conversant blog than this one has been.

I'm very excited about this new project and method of outreach in a world where so many people are hurting... Won't you come with me, too, and share in the excitement and sharing these blogs were created to induce?

I can be found at a Zoofer blog, a Squarespace blog, and a Blogspot blog. All have the same content and all carry the same phrase which has meant so much to me over the past two years... wait for it.

So come on over... you can still read all about me and get to know me a little better. And I won't be offended if you click on any ads. ::wink::

Monday, 15 January

My day started at 5:30am. At first, I couldn’t even get out of bed, so amazed was I by the realization that I was going home today… that very night, I would be in my own bed having been reunited with my family.

Finally, I realized the only way to get home was by actually leaving… So I dressed, finished packing, ate my last bite of LaLa yogurt (which I will miss), took a last look at the mountainous horizon I had seen every morning for the past three months, loaded my bags in the car and left.

With the sun rising behind us, we bumped our way through the mountains one last time. I put trash out by the road one last time, rode through the sinuous autopistas one last time, encountered Monterrey traffic one last time, and said goodbye to the Richardsons before I walked down the stairs toward my flight.

It was intense going home… My flight was delayed out of Monterrey, my Coke was confiscated and my bag didn’t fit under the seat (it always does every other time). My concern with the delay was how it would affect my connection in Houston and customs.

It was a LOT of fast walking I did upon landing in Houston, behind schedule and not knowing if I would make my connecting flight. I kept praying, made it to the baggage claim and grabbed all my bags. Thankfully, they provide little carts… I had a 50-pound duffel, a 50-pound box of food, a 40-pound backpack, and a 20-something-pound carryon box to wrangle.

As I was swiftly moving away from the baggage claim, I suddenly remembered I hadn’t collected my backpack which contained all my personal stuff! Thanking God for reminding me, I turned around just in time to see it come sliding along. I grabbed it and ran.

Rechecking the baggage was a breeze as was reentering the United States. And I can tell you what a beautiful thing it was to hear the official say, “Welcome back to the United States.” Made me smile all over inside and feel grateful to have such a nice place to come back to.

Sentimentality was given second place as I realized just how far I still had to go to go through security and find my gate. It was already really late and I was praying I wouldn’t miss my flight. I was moved up in the security line because of my flight and had to unpack my backpack as part of US security regulations.

I didn’t want to walk any more by the time I finally got to my gate. Thankfully, my connecting flight had been delayed just a little and I was able to wait for about ten minutes before boarding for the next leg of my journey.

Once in Cleveland, my 57-minute layover time had been bitten into by the delay of my Houston flight. I hit the ground running and arrived at my gate, again, with ten minutes to spare before boarding. God made the times all work out so I could get into Richmond at the time I had planned on. J

I was getting excited as I flew into Richmond… I could hardly wait to see everyone; all those wonderful people I loved so much and hadn’t seen for three months. My Mom and Dad were there to pick me up and I was so happy to see them!

Upon returning home, I was greeted with a wildly-festooned house and an excited family to greet me. Sam’s fiancée and her sister and mom were there as well (for the bridal shower the next day) and they had spent the day decorating the house with Mexican happiness.

Mexican music was playing as I walked (completely surprised) through the crepe paper “doorway” and was greeted by a piñata dangled from a stick! Taco Bell was on the table and after I broke one of the three piñatas and told the piñata story, we sat down to eat. I was able to provide Mexican Coke, hot sauce and desert to authenticate the Taco Bell. :P

It was a wonderful homecoming and I am so grateful to God who brought me home safely. I have learned many things the last three months; lessons which will not be forgotten any time soon.

Similar to when I realized my first 25 days in Mexico was only the beginning, I realized upon returning home that those three months are only the beginning. The journey continues and increases with its difficulty and challenges. Those of you who have prayed for me so faithfully in Mexico, I would ask that you not stop now. The challenges I currently face are every bit as daunting and heart-gripping as those I experienced in Mexico.

Everything I learned there will be tested here… your continued prayers will be appreciated and greatly needed.

Thank you for traveling with me along the path to womanhood. Thank you for your prayers and for your support… this would not have been possible without you. May God bless you for the kindness and generosity you have shown me. I love you all!

Thursday - Sunday, 11-14 January

Well, I got to experience something really different on Thursday (11 Jan). Today, everyone, and I do mean everyone, left to go to Saltillo and were gone all day long! This was my prime opportunity to catch up on a lot of small jobs I had wanted to get done before I left.

In the lovely space of time I had to be alone I folded and put away three baskets of laundry, put away the breakfast dishes, cleaned up the downstairs, swept and mopped the whole downstairs, reorganized the school cabinet, glued and nailed the desk upstairs, updated the mailing lists, sent emails out (in Spanish) asking for address corrections, finished straightening the back room, and worked on CD duplication some more… a productive day to be sure. J

Just as I sat down to eat dinner, preparing to go to bed, the van pulled up, bringing everyone home and groceries to put away! The next morning, I offered to go pick up Maria, the cleaning lady. This involved some muchly bumpy driving to get to her house on the other end of the canyon. I got to drive again… yay!

I spent a lot of time trying to get the CD duplicator to print correctly and that is a project that continues to hang over my head. I really want it to be done before I leave. Friday night, I attended the last Friday night church service I will be attending in Mexico and that was an odd feeling.

Three months is such a long time, yet it seems so much longer some how. Our company left VERY early on Saturday morning and the rest of the day was very laid back and slow-paced. I continued to work very hard on finishing those CDs… really the only thing I had left to finish. Many times throughout the CD project, I have wanted to give up and not worry about finishing – it’s so frustrating working with a machine that works well for half the process and then ruins that work the second half!

I mentioned to Mr. and Mrs. Richardson the hilarity and appropriateness of the title of the last set of CDs I had remaining… Termina lo que Empezaste (Finish What You Started). It really was quite a little motivator every time I looked at what I had left in the box of un-duplicated sets!

Sunday was the last time I would attend church in Mexico and I honored that occasion by doing something I never had before… During the open prayer time, I stood up and prayed in Spanish, thanking God for the time I had had with the Richardsons, for my new Mexican friends, for the new things God has done in my life, and for safety as I would be traveling the next morning.

Many of the people entreated me not to forget them and prayed that one day I would be able to come back and visit them. Our lunch guests told me in great detail about a piece of land I could buy from them and how I could live there after I got married.

Mrs. Richardson made my favorite mashed potatoes for lunch along side of chicken and dumplings and corn! Oh, it was so good! The CD duplicating project continued, time beginning to run out as I juggled it with laundry, packing, and eating Triple Chocolate Chunk brownies (also my favorite) with ice cream that Mrs. Richardson had been saving for this special occasion.

As the night grew later, I realized with increasing clarity that I was about to leave Mexico and return home to my family, to Jason, and to all the people who love me so much and had been praying for me. It was an amazing realization and though part of me felt sad at leaving, the rest of me knew it was time to move on to the next stage of my life.

Finally, the CDs were finished (no small miracle) and I was able to update the mailing list one more time and take dictation from Mr. Richardson as he answered every email in the website accounts. So late that Sunday night, with every bag packed and thank-you gift assembled, my work in Mexico was finished.

To say the past three months were difficult would be like saying the Grand Canyon is a slit in the ground… Yet throughout all the tears and smiles, sorrows and joys, learning and growing I know God has been through me every minute; something I never doubted.

True, I did not understand much of His plan for me in Mexico, but I never doubted that He wanted me there never doubted that His plans for me were for good, and not for evil. He has heard every tear and understood every heartache… and all has been used for the crafting of the woman He created me to be.

Wednesday, 10 January

Normally, a single day does not receive it’s own post… but today was different. Today, the devil tried to seriously injure and/or kill me with a freak incident… and, praise be to God, failed.

This is the story of my miracle…

When she was alive, my grandma always told a story of a lady who was sitting in her chair when a meteorite went right through her house and right through her. This story bothered my grandma for a long time until she asked the Lord why He didn’t tell the lady to move so she wouldn’t be sitting there when the meteorite fell. God responded that He had told her… He had put something in her heart that, if she had listened, she would be alive with an amazing story to tell.

But she didn’t listen… and her story is told by others instead of by her.

This story bothered me from the very day I heard it and inwardly I squirmed just a bit every time my grandma told it. Why? Because I wanted to be so sure that I could hearken to God’s voice that I would miss being hit by the meteorite. Frequently I prayed that He would increase my inner perception of Him so that I would be where He wanted me to be; so that I would not be the lady in the chair.

January 9^th, as I shared in my last post, was not the greatest day for me and felt “off” the entire day. As I also shared, God showed me how easy it was to repent and get back on the track, which I did. This morning (January 10), I was determined to start the day with the proper focus and connections with God.

It seemed I was supposed to shower first and I did so, praying the entire time. I prayed for the day, for protection for everyone in the house, for protection of the house and all that pertained to it… the blood of Jesus over every single thing I could think of. I took spiritual authority over the day and its proceedings and prayed fervently for my family, for Jason, and for myself. I wanted this day to be dedicated to God and I wanted to be His vessel, shining forth with His love and power.

After I had finished and dressed, I brushed my hair, though I didn’t fix it immediately like I normally do. Instead, I got my toothbrush and began to brush my teeth. I don’t remember any conscious thoughts, except that I was admiring my toenails. They looked so nice, neatly-kept, smooth, and polished. As I was looking at them, I took a full step back and to the right.

En este momento, as they say here, something hit me very hard on my left arm and pushed me back. At the same time, I heard a huge crash and breaking glass. I stood with my toothbrush in my mouth, completely confused as to what had just happened.

I stared at the floor and at the twenty or thirty-pound duffel bag of books that lay at my feet, right next to the four-bulb light fixture it had ripped from the wall on its way down. There were broken pieces of the fixture mixed with broken light bulbs… but I didn’t know what to think. It seemed a long time, but it was most likely a few seconds, before I could even figure out the bag of books had fallen out of the eight-foot high storage loft, onto the light fixture, deflecting onto me.

As the actions played back through my head, I looked at my shoulder and saw the dust marks where the bag had hit me. My eyes widened as I reversed the step I had taken backwards a split-second before. Thanks to God for my rescue began to flow from my lips, the toothbrush now being removed, as I realized the import of what had just happened.

My head was now right where my shoulder had taken the blow from the bag!

That heavy bag falling from high up would have hit me on the head or on the side of my neck! But I was not seriously injured at all. The bag had nicked my arm, but I wasn’t cut and nothing landed on my feet… I was unharmed.

I started shaking a little as I realized that this was the meteorite incident I had prayed so hard to be prepared for. I had been listening so closely to God that my response hadn’t even been conscious… I had simply stepped back. God had protected me because my heart was toward Him.

I found out later, downstairs at that time, Mr. Richardson was sharing with the company I Peter 5:8, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:” This verse has been paramount in discussions since the mountain lion killed Casador… even leading to other verse quotations such as, “There is a lion without, I shall be slain in the streets.” (used to avoid having to do chores outside).

I cannot doubt this was an absolute miracle and I cannot doubt that the devil had bad plans for me. I know God saved me from injury and destruction today and that my heart is towards Him. The whole experience was eye-opening to me as I realized everything I had been focusing on this morning led to my preparation for withstanding the evil one.

I had my armor on… and I do not want to be found without it ever again!

Thank you for your prayers, my friends. They are heard and I have been protected in many ways since coming out here. I am privileged to share with you today how God worked powerfully in my life, triumphing over the devil, and giving me a testimony that my God is real and is indeed my Protector and Shield.

Monday - Tuesday, 1-9 January

It’s a new year… and I’m still in Mexico.

Monday (1 Jan), I finished the preparing the newsletter for mailing; this includes folding cover letter, folding newsletter twice, stuffing envelopes, and sealing. I really like doing the newsletter and was hoping I would get to do another one before I left. J

Due to some minor emotional upsets and imbalances the last day of the year and the first day of the new year, the devil tried to have me believe this year would be a hard one for me, full of tears and hardships, pains and sufferings. However, when I recognized that snaky voice, I turned to God and got His input.

The verse He gave to me was this… Deuteronomy 11:11-12, “The land whither ye go to possess it is a land of hills and valleys and drinketh water of the rain of heaven: a land which the Lord thy God careth for: the eyes of the Lord thy God are always upon it, from the beginning of the year even unto the end of the year.”

There it was and, as one of my favorite verses says, “God hath not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” And so I entered this new year with confidence that my God is faithful and will perform the promises He has given in my life. I have no fear.

Tuesday and Wednesday were very busy as I worked to complete bits and pieces of tasks still remaining for me to finish. Math is a daily occurrence and I do so love to teach it! Every day, I enjoy being able to tutor and instruct this favorite subject of mine. Also, I got up all the shelf brackets in the office… a task I’ve been dreading. The lowest shelf is over six feet up and there are two more shelves above it. Additionally, I had to find the stud in the wall whereby to attach the brackets. I’m so glad my daddy taught me well…

After the brackets, I updated the magazine database from a stack of returned addresses Mrs. Iñigo had given me, counted and boxed all the newsletters for mailing, reinstalled a school curriculum on the school computer, scanned and produced a CD of pictures requested by a member of the church, sent emails (in Spanish, no less) requesting  current addresses, fixed a broken closet door, and organized a surprise box of pictures Mrs. Richardson found… all in addition to the normal routine of helping with meals and keeping general order.

Thursday morning, the household awoke to three more members of the Dappen family who had joined us in the night, Mr. Richardson having picked them up from the US. They are wonderful and made quite a lively contribution to the group. It was also a blessing for Mrs. Dappen, who hasn’t seen her older kids for about a month now.

One of the neat things God showed me from His word Thursday night was how to pray; a subject I’d been asking Him to reveal more clearly to me the past couple days. The simplest way to put it comes from Mark 11:24, “When ye pray, believe,” and the simple premise being that if I have prayed for something, not to keep going back and re-praying about it. “Don’t pray yourself out of faith,” was the encouragement that accompanied this verse. If you must pray about an issue you’ve already given to God, you might tell Him you’re still waiting for the manifestation, but that you believe and then… and this is the big step… praise Him for that answer. So I have, instead of praying continuously, begun to praise God for His answers to those prayers… and things seem to be moving. J

Saturday (6 Jan) was spent in intense cleaning and organizing. Also, we had a whole bunch of people over for lunch, so there was lots of food to prepare and serve, then clean up after. The Dappens left on Sunday for a week-long conference and hopefully will be back before I leave.

The house was very empty after the Dappens left… the only people here were the Richardsons and me. One of the things I did that afternoon was tell the “Piñata Story” 74 times in a row. What is the “Piñata Story,” you may ask. Why did you tell it 74 times? That history goes all the way back to my second day in Mexico… so very long ago.

We had driven to Saltillo to pick up my suitcase (containing all my possessions) and were in the process of returning home. The night was dark and rainy, there was a lot of traffic, the roads are not easy to see as they lack good reflective markings, and the kids were all talking at once. In order to quiet everyone down so the drivers could concentrate on staying on the road, I decided to tell stories. One of them was the “Piñata Story.”

The Piñata Story

Two men, one day, decided they should build a bungee jump tower in Mexico as part of their desire to own their own business. Once the tower was built, however, they did not have the business they had anticipated… not a single customer came. In a flash of brilliance, one of the men decided to demonstrate how to do bungee jump. When he came up from the first jump, his friend noticed with horror that his friend had a black eye. Shocked, he tried to catch him, but down he went again. Coming back to the top, his friend managed to catch him and witnessed a bloody nose in addition to the black eye. Asking his friend if the bungee cords were too long, the response came back that the lines were fine, but what in the world was a piñata?!

The kids liked it soooo much and begged me to tell it over and over on that ride back to the house. After a couple of times, I said I wouldn’t tell it any more that day, but I would tell it once every day I was there – I thought I would be staying for 25 days at that point. After my extension, adding 70 more days, the kids still insisted I tell the story every day. I still owed them four times and since Mr. Richardson kindly reminded me that a just man sweareth to his own hurt and changeth not (his favorite bit from the Bible), I told the kids that one day, I would go sit on the front porch and tell the “Piñata Story” 74 times straight.

That epic day was Sunday afternoon. And with an Excel spreadsheet of variable names, places of origin, place of building the bungee tower, accent, and injuries sustained, I told that story 74 times. The kids LOVED it and I was soooo please to have that behind me!

Monday was devoid of visitors as well, but cleaning was certainly on the agenda. I washed and put away lots of laundry, cleaned and rearranged rooms in preparation for our coming guests, worked on CD duplication, and various other things during the day. That evening, I decided it would be a good idea to start thinking about how to pack my bags and take back everything I had brought with me in addition to the nearly 70 pounds of food I had bought while here.

A phone call to the airline company revealed I could have two 50-pound pieces of luggage and one carry-on weighing no more than 40 pounds… and the agent assured me my backpack counted as the carry-on and no excess weight would be allowed on my flight so I couldn’t even pay for extra weight. So, praying for wisdom, I gathered every item that was mine and began weighing, sorting, re-weighing, and resorting.

Finally, the Lord showed me how to pack everything so that it will fit in one 50-pound duffle bag, one 50-pound box of food, one very stuffed backpack (which I count as my personal item), and one box for carry-on (containing stuff I can live without and which the Richardsons will mail to me if it gets taken away at check-in). I was so happy and so relieved. I have planned and thought carefully about what to bring home and I certainly didn’t want to leave any of it behind. J

Tuesday morning, I did the thing I had avoided doing the whole three months I’ve been here… I drove to pick up Maria, the cleaning lady. It takes about half an hour of bumping through the canyon and up and down the mountains to get to her house… one way. But Mrs. Richardson really needed the extra time and I offered to get her. Once again, I drove!

More cleaning and preparation was the order of the day as our guests were expected some time in the afternoon. I reorganized all the inventory in the office and continued working on CD duplication until the guests arrived and I was asked to take Maria back home.

As I sat in front of the CD duplicator that night, I realized that day had not been a great day… not all my responses had been loving, my priorities had been off, and I felt a general disconnect from God. So, to the tune of the CD duplicator, I turned my thoughts toward God that night and was so blessed to experience the reality of His presence and the power that comes from saying I messed up, could He please clean me up and put me back on the right track.

It was then God showed me something beautiful about what I was/have been experiencing. A butterfly, before it can soar gracefully above the earth, beating the air with breathtakingly beautiful plumage, must undergo a period of time in a cocoon. Not only is that time of isolation from the world necessary, but the pain and struggle to crawl out of the cocoon are essential to the proper formation of the butterfly.

A butterfly which does not go through that pain and agony of coming out of the cocoon may live, but it will be crippled and will never live up to its full potential as God meant it to.

The simple message to me was this: God placed me in a cocoon, isolating me from the world as I know it, so that I might come to know Him better and that I might be adequately prepared for the life He has for me. All the suffering, the pain, the heartache, the tears, the heartbreak I have experienced during the past three months most specifically are necessary for me to become the woman He created me to be.

He hears every cry, He sees every tear, He knows the pain of my heart… but He also sees the big picture and knows that this is but for a moment and it is crucial for my development. I am crawling out of my cocoon and should not despise nor shrink from the pain of that narrow exit, but should rather rejoice that I am about to partake of the next phase in my life…

God has given me wings and has prepared me to use them… a whole new world above which to soar…

I’m excited to see what’s next. Thank you for being a part of my adventure and for your prayers and support… it has not been in vain!